Commentary Essay Superman's New Costume
by Mark Meredith
Summary: I'd like to comment on Superman's old-fashioned nerdy comic book-y costume. What's with that? Why doesn't he wear a mask? That's what always bothers me about him. Why does he bother trying to protect his secret identity? He worries all day about keeping his secret identity in his comic books when walking around as Clark Kent and what does he do the second a crime happens?


M, D. Approximately Words Counted 100

Six "Grove" Road 2012 M.

Wi Disposable Copy

Phone Extension: 3372

Intro...to Editorial about Superman's 'New' Costume!

by

Mark Walt Meredith

This was an article I wrote in the newspaper while a "Chief" Corrector in Wisconsin near The Great Lakes back when Mr. Kent "El's" costume had been changed. Really funny stuff!

The End

M, D. Line Counted 40

Six "Grove" Road 2012 M.

Wi Disposable Copy

Phone Extension: 3372

"Commentary Essay ...Superman's New Costume...An Editorial"

by

Mark Meredith

I'd like to comment on Superman's old-fashioned nerdy comic book-y costume.

What's with that?

Why doesn't he wear a mask?

That's what always bothers me about him.

Why does he bother trying to protect his secret identity?

He worries all day about keeping his secret identity in his comic books when walking around as Clark Kent and what does he do the second a crime happens?

He rips off his clothes and goes running around in his pajamas with his face exposed!

Jee, I wonder why he worries so much.

He would save himself a lot of worrying if the next time a bank robbery happens he'd just put on a mask!

It would save him the high blood pressure.

It would be O.K. if he didn't want his identity kept secret.

That would be more realistic but then he turns around and claims that no one could recognize him with his glasses on ...being the master of disguise he is.

Nooo, most heroes don't want their secret identity's found out.

No, they wouldn't want actually to be subjected to fame and the adulation of millions, now would they?

Clark Kent wouldn't actually want people to actually stop treating him like a nerdy wimp now would he?

And another thing; if he's going to dress like other super heroes then why skimp on the mask?

Moreover, another thing I've noticed: where are his gloves?

And why is it that whenever he gets shot or zapped with an energy beam from that mad genius Lex Luthor his costume doesn't get holes in it or burnt off in an explosion?

Why doesn't he wear forearm length gloves like the rest of the "fellers"?

In addition, what's with his underwear?

What happened, did some creator artist one day just think out loud ...saying to himself, "This costume needs a little extra something. What does this costume need?

I know! I'll put some shiny dark red silk panties right here on over his tights!"

Why does he wear his underwear on the outside?

Is taking glasses off to fight crime really a good idea for this guy?

Does this guy even know that for 74 years he's been accidentally wearing his underwear over his costume?

Look at the first thing he takes off: his glasses; then rips open his shirt and reveals the S.

Is this really a good idea?

Shouldn't his glasses be the last thing he takes off?

When he looks down and sees his underwear on the outside, maybe he just thinks that his X-Ray vision is working really well.

I don't know.

I guess those comic books are realistic.

They explain in the comic book that they made the costume out of the blanket they found him in as a baby and that's why it's invulnerable, his cape and everything else Clark "Kal" Superman wears as a costume.

I don't know if I want my life ...though ...to be in the hands of someone who still carries his "Blankey" around with him.

I don't think the world should be looking up admiringly to that "Linus"-guy, there.

I don't think that I want someone saving the world that at any second could collapse into a fetal position on the ground sucking his thumb neurotically ...and hugging his cape close to him, whenever the pressure gets to him.

I don't know, however; it doesn't matter now.

The Superman creators have changed his costume recently a while back.

Now he has a new, black costume with lightning bolts down the arms and an altered "S," on his chest that looks like it should be a letter from a Chinese food restaurant sign.

The cartoonists just exchanged one bad costume for another.

Don't worry; it's just another publicity stunt, like when they advertised that the death of Superman was coming and then it turned out that he died only technically and had an out-of-body-experience.

Superman turned out to have had an out-of body experience.

They brought him back in about fourteen issues and now you can find him in your local 7/11's comic books.

Just wait, people will write in to complain and then things will be back to the way they were ...with Superman's old, stupid costume.

Meredith-2 "Commentary Essay ...Su…."

Meredith-3 "…ary Essay ...Superman's New Costume...An Editorial"

- - -30- - -


End file.
